I'll see you again
by Sufferer's Descendant
Summary: Sollux is dying and this is his last wish, for Karkat Vantas to take everything left that he owns for himself because he's leaving it to him. His home, his pets, all of his possessions. Karkat can't convince Sollux to tell the others before it's too late, but what he doesn't realize that it's already too late. (Updated 09-30-13)
1. Chapter 1

"Tell them...before it's too late, Captor..." Karkat Vantas's voice rumbled softly behind me, as the years passed; Karkat actually grew taller and his voice grew deeper. He grew up from the once short boy I knew into the strong man I saw sitting at my bedside now, he had filled out with prominent muscles. No longer that skinny boy with the slight build I remembered, he wasn't too muscular. He was nearly perfect, the perfect build for his body type. He was probably the perfect thing to lean against and not feel uncomfortable because he was too rigid or tense. Shaking my head, I dismissed the thoughts and looked him in the eyes for the first time in awhile. He still had those stark grey eyes just like I remembered, the color of storm clouds when the skies threatened to open up and release the heavy floods of rain that the clouds carried.

I don't know if he felt pity for me or was really concerned about my wellbeing, I sighed and turned my head to look out the window. "I don't know, kk...they wouldn't be happy to know that I don't have much time left..itth nearly too late ath it ith.." tears formed in my eyes, I could feel the burn of them as they welled up and threatened to spill over. Even now, I couldn't control my emotions very well. I guess that was one thing I lacked on, if I wasn't angry..I was distraught..and if I wasn't distraught, I was angry..

Those two emotions seemed to just make up the entirety of my life, though now..neither seemed present. I only felt hesitance, regret, guilt, and shame for even telling anyone about my condition and that I wouldn't last much longer with my current state. In the end, I was glad that it was Karkat by my side and not anyone else. Eridan wouldn't give a damn, Aradia would only fuss over me...but Karkat, he was the only one I knew that might be able to accept it in stoic silence. He had blown up at first for not telling anyone sooner, least of all him but he had come around and accept it.

I was dying..and what it came down to, was that Karkat accepted this revelation..he hadn't demanded me to try and get it treated because he probably knew that it was untreatable. There was no cure, not in this case. Not for me..my immune system was far too weak for treatment, it would probably only accerlate the disease that was eating away at me. It had already spread to my lungs and at times it was hard to breathe, so I tried not to strain myself much. Especially at home, I didn't have much to do anymore anyway. Aside from getting together my last will..leaving my shit to people. Well..Karkat, anyway. Because he would probably be the only one I'd ever trust with my things after I was gone. My pets, moreso than anyone else..he'd care for them when I passed on.

"KK.." I looked over at the normally angry male, his features were unnervingly stoic and he was uncharacteristically silent for once. He only looked up at my nickname for him, his eyes showing recognition. "I'm..thorry.." I stated lamely, not knowing what to say for sure. He shook his head silently and reached for my hand, which I allowed him to take and laced my fingers through his. It was a silent comfort, one that I desparately needed. Now more than ever, we had always been close..closer than what was probably considered normal, but in this hour of need..it was..soothing, I supposed. My fears seemed to fall away for now, worry washing away as I held his hand. He smiled a small, somewhat tight smile as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Sollux.." he murmured, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed without letting go of my hand. He leaned close and while it was startling, I pretty much knew what was coming.

Leaning into him a bit, I lifted my head to meet his lips. It was a slow, gentle kiss that the other seemed determined to take his time with. I was all too happy to let it happen, I didn't want him to pull away when he did but we both needed air and he knew better than to try and deprive my body for something it was nearly starving for already. Sighing, I laid my head on his shoulder as he put an arm around me and scooted closer though he wasn't on the edge of the bed anymore. "Karkat.." I murmured softly, looking up at him. "I'm going to leave everything to you.." he seemed startled at first but nodded. If we didn't have much time left, then whatever time we did have left would not be wasted..as long as we were together. Nothing would be wasted, I would not leave this world, regretting that I had not spent my last moments with Karkat Vantas.

As I snuggled up against him, I murmured softly as I closed my eyes probably for the last time. "I'll see you again..." 


	2. Chapter 2

If it wasn't so sad, it would've been a fantastic moment..to see them all sitting there in rows as Karkat looked out at them all. He stood next to the casket, it was closed of course...so he'd never again glimpse the face of his lover. Today was not about him though, it was about Sollux Captor. The stubborn asshole who refused to bring up his own condition in conversation, Karkat had known to some degree that the other male wouldn't last long..but he didn't realize how little precious time that he had to spend with the almost anorexic boy. He still remembered the last night they spent together..he wouldn't trade those last moments with him for anything in the world. If only..if only that he had more time with the stubborn-headed prick, tears welled up at the thought of never being able to see that cocky grin of his again.. Why..why did the fates have to be so cruel and steal away the only one he ever learned to love? Sure, he had the others..but they could never take the place of Sollux. He'd come to appreciate all of the late male's quirks and tics, having learned them over the span of their friendship and he wanted to know more..but it'd never happen now.

Sollux Captor was dead, he'd passed on in his sleep and now Karkat Vantas would never be able to live out that desperate wish. The desperate desire that had blossomed over the span of years, how could he have ever known that his dream would be ripped out from under him so viciously, so quickly without a second thought. Fate was cruel..to him, at least. It had been far too cruel to Sollux during his life...but it had been kind in the end. He wouldn't have to suffer the world's fate when it all was over, they all would die eventually...death was kind to those who suffered the span of their lifetime but it was cruel to the living. Especially in Karkat's mind.

He knew that the other would always be in his heart, but it was too terrible to really think about.. To consider more than he needed to on this day, as the other male had promised...everything was left to him. All of his possessions, his pets, even all of his gadgets and electronics that he watched Sollux tinker with day in and day out. He was always in awe at how Sollux could manage such things..to be so talented..and intelligent enough to understand what made them tick. To know how to make them function even if they seemed useless.

Sollux always had that kind of gift..and Karkat always envied how well he understood it. Yes, he had been jealous and no he had never admitted it. But he was amazed at his skill..or what had been his skill before he passed away. Gritting his teeth, Karkat muttered under his breath and dug his nails into the ebony coffin. "You stupid idiot...why did you go and get sick...when you knew...that I needed you... That I always needed you.." his tears finally slid down his face, staining it along with his shirt before they hit the coffin as well. He didn't want to cry in front of the others, but they were probably holding back tears just as he was. Even through the drone of the speaker, they probably saw him breaking apart. He refused to make a sound, choking back sobs and wails that he would later let loose once he was in the private safety of his own apartment.

Yes..later would be the time for that, but not now, not in front of everyone. Even though they probably were just as heartbroken, just as at a loss for what to do as he was. Though he knew better..they all knew and cared for Sollux Captor..but they probably weren't grasping at straws to make themselves feel better. To make themselves carry through the funeral service, not like he was. Karkat was absolutely torn up about having to attend the service at all..but he'd feel as though he was turning his back on Sollux if he didn't show up. If he didn't stand here by his side as he was finally laid to rest in the cold, hard, and cracked ground. Sollux had been his everything, and now Sollux was his pain..his vice, the loss of such an important person would destroy him in the long run. Make him become a recluse and break off most if not all ties with their friends, even though they'd all probably try to keep in contact with him, to make sure that he wouldn't do anything stupid because of this...

But he probably would...after so long of breaking down, of tearing himself apart...after years of self abuse and torture would he act.. Stupid and stubborn as he was, Karkat was a scrapper to the end and he would torture himself until it was time that he acted..until he felt as though it was time he put an end to all of his suffering, though that would not be for several or many years to come.. He, himself, didn't know how long he could manage to carry on. But when he cracked...his end would probably be gruesome and bloody. Or maybe it would just be simple...and make it as though he didn't have to suffer at all. One clean stroke of a blade or the snap of a rope as he found a way to hang himself in the privacy of his own home. Even if Sollux would disapprove..

Dying of old age would probably never occur to Karkat, he never wanted to reach old age in all honesty..not alone. Even though he knew that the wait would probably have been worth it, he wanted to see Sollux's cheeky smile and hear his obnoxious laughter again. Sooner rather than later... 


End file.
